Gracie and the No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Week

Oh my goodness. There is a very good chance that I had the worst week ever. Monday and Tuesday were okay, but after that, everything fell apart.

On Wednesday, I was running late for class so I had to run from the subway to the studio, which is a block and a half away but the first block is rather long. By the time I got to class and into my desk and received a glare from Dr. Romaine, I thought I was going to have an asthma attack. I don't really have asthma, but running in this cold weather causes the asthma I used to have to flare up again. My mom gave me an inhaler though so hopefully that'll help if I ever end up running in the cold again. So there was the asthma attack, and then Tanja and I were going to Skype at Barley John's. I was super excited because the week before it had been a ton of fun. Unfortunately, this week, Patrick and Jenny were the only other two to show up so it wasn't quite as much fun and Matt was busy so I didn't really get a chance to talk with him either.

On Thursday, I stepped outside to find that it was snowing. Heavily. And it was really wet. I went to my internship expecting to work on the online queries like Evan wanted me to, but their office laptop wasn't working and I forgot the power cord to mine. So I read more mail queries and more bad writing. I did give one partial manuscript to Evan but I don't know what will happen with it. And then we had class with Daniel and Daniel's kind of harsh and I don't have a lot of faith in my ideas so it was a tough class and instead of being encouraging when I talked to him after class, he said that writing might not be for me and I might have to find a new career if that's what I decide after the semester is over. Awesome pep talk dude.

On Friday, it was still snowing. It hadn't stopped snowing all night and it had snowed all day Thursday. NYCAMS usually follows the New York Public School system when it comes to canceling class but apparently, they didn't want to do that on Friday. So instead of getting to sleep in, I had to get up and make my way to the Pace gallery on 57th St. I got on the subway and made it to 5th avenue where I proceeded to walk 5 blocks in the wrong direction. Did I know I was going in the wrong direction? No, not until after I passed Central Park and found an actualy street so. So then I had to walk 8 blocks back to 57th. My boots started to leak, my pants got soaked and between 56th and 57th street, I fell into a puddle. Frickin awesome. I got up and got back on the subway because there was no I was walking into an Upper East Side gallery in soaking wet jeans. I was up till 3:30 that night so by the time I went to bed, I had two hours before I had to get up to catch my 7am train.

Saturday. Woke up at 6:40 and definitely MISSED the 7am train. I had to call Amtrak and switch the reservation to the 8am train which cost me 50 bucks and I barely made it on board in time. I rode the train into Providence where my mom and Eric picked me up and we went to go visit Phil at Springfield college in Springfield, MA. It was really good to see Phil (Eric's son, Eric is my mom's fiance) and he gave me a tour of the college and we went to lunch at Red Robin. I even got a new sweatshirt out of the deal. That was all fine and dandy. But on the ride home from Springfield, somewhere between there and South Yarmouth, I lost my glasses. I loved those glasses and I'd had them since my freshman year of college. I was also doing laundry at Eric's and at one point, when I went to go switch loads, I fell down the stairs. I didn't just tripped, I slipped on the top step and slid all the way down. Torqued my back, scraped my back, and bruised my ass. When my mom came to come check on me, she followed my lead and slipped and fell down the stairs too. That will NEVER happen again. That was a Funniest Home Videos moment if I ever seen one. But now it hurts to sit down.

Today was better. My mom went and got my eyes checked and she's shipping me the new glasses tomorrow. My train was about an hour late but that's okay. It was nice to spend the weekend away from New York and it was fun to ride a train. I've never done that before. I got my homework done on the train so I have the night to just relax, and I'm really going to try to make this next week go a little better.

Joshua will be here in two weeks and I'm SO excited to see him. We're going to try to find a place to go for St. Patrick's day and I can't wait to navigate the city with him. I don't know my way around that well, but it'll be fun getting lost together. It'll have been a month and a half since I last saw him. That's a really long time to go without seeing my husband. If you ever get married, I don't recommend it. I get to hug someone again!

Keep praying for me. Pray that I don't get swallowed by my self-doubt on this writing project and pray that my weeks go by quickly. I can't wait to go home for Easter and see everybody. Love you guys and miss you like crazy!

Valentine's Day

I have always hated this holiday. Even now that I'm married and have a permanent valentine, I hate this holiday. I think I'm feeling a little extra hatred right now seeing as how I can't be with him today, but in general, this is the epitome of a Hallmark Holiday whether the whole story about St. Valentine is real or not.

Moving on. Six of the girls and I went to go see Valentine's Day the movie last night. Hilarious. Not the greatest movie but absolutely hilarious.

I guess I don't have mucht to report. Things have settled into a bit of routine. Classes are okay, though I struggle constantly to stay awake during Art History, no surprise. My internship is great. You've got to love a job that allows you to sit and read all day. Sarah and I workout as much as possible. They've got TVs attached to the treadmills which helps a lot. Homework takes up a lot of time because we end reading 100+ pages a week, I'm just kind of hoping it helps this whole doubting myself thing I've got going on.

The other day, I went out and bought a 6 pack of New Castle, blatantly disobeying the no alcohol rule. And you know what? When I run out, I might go back and buy some more because it's nice to sit back at night and have a beer every now and then.

I've been able to skype with people while I'm here and that's been a big help with any homesickness I might be feeling. Tanja and I probably talk the most and she's usually at Das Hus so I get to see those guys and hang out and talk with them and that's really nice. I miss Das Community so much! Sarah's been on at random times too so getting to talk to her has been great especially since we hadn't talked since like Christmas until I got here. She's having a blast in Australia still and I still miss her like crazy.

I miss Joshua the most. 1300 miles away, happy valentine's day to me. I can't wait to see him. I actually considered coming home next weekend after having a fairly bad day. But I'm hanging in there and so is he and he'll be here exactly 4 weeks from today. Can't wait.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, Times Square.

Anger Management

Well, this week went by a lot faster. Started my internship on Monday, went back Tuesday and today. It's pretty much the coolest job ever. I just sit and read all day. I don't get paid for it, but I'm okay with that. Right now, I'm totally sucked into this manuscript that Evan gave me about a girl who's been missing for ten years and it's up to this detective that she met one night in a bar to solve her case. Kind of a Lovely Bones thing except without the murder part. It's cool and Evan's awesome and I look forward to picking his brain throughout the course of my time here.

It snowed yesterday. I think we got about 9 inches. That's nothing to me but to the people of New York, it's a blizzard. They canceled my afternoon class. So after a very long nap and a mac n cheese dinner and 15 mins of exercise because the gym closed early, I went over to the store and bought a 6 pack of New Castle. Then Felix, Sarah, Kyle, and I congregated in my room to watch American Idol. Yes, American Idol. It was actually a lot of fun and I'm telling you, I have the best room out of anybody here. Sarah, Kyle, and Felix can testify.

Today was our first publishing class. Daniel is a really cool guy and he's fun, but I know he's going to be tough which is causing me to doubt my writing skills and now is not really a good time to be doing that. God help me to get through this one.

Sarah invited me to go see Dr. Parnassus with her and her boss today, but I had class at 6. It was nice though because she really wanted me to go which means that I've made at least one friend here. She also happens to be one of the girliest girls here, go figure.

Tonight has been weird. I feel angry and I hate that I feel angry.

I'm mad at Daniel because he brushed me off when I really wanted to talk to him after class. I rode home with Lindsay and Rachel and just like the last time, they barely gave me a chance to speak and then when I did, what I had to say didn't matter. Nobody here gives hugs and I seriously need just one good hug. I thrive on physical touch, it's my love language and apparently not a New York thing. Kyle's a hugger but not a very good one and right now, I just need someone to hug me like their life depends on it, just once. I'm also angry because my sleep schedule is screwed up. It's not that I haven't been sleeping well it's just that when "bedtime" comes around, whether I'm tired or not, I don't want to go to sleep. Things are little weird for me right now and I don't know why that is, but I swear, I'm going to make this work. It may not be the best thing that ever happened to me, but it will be worth it. It has to be.

Sunday Bloody Sunday...?

Me and Lindsay and Rebekah went to Argo Tea last night. Best soy vanilla chai I've ever had, hands down. It was interesting hanging out with them. They're in the writing program with me so we'll be spending lots of time together. But Lindsay and Rachael are SO much alike: cynical, pessimistic, sarcastic, never had boyfriends, a little weird. They don't sound like much fun but they are. So they were so much alike and I'm sitting disagreeing with almost everything they say and I started to feel like the weird one and that's fine, I'm just not used to hanging out with people who are so different from me.

I don't like shoes. I don't wear a lot of make-up. I don't go shopping all that often and when I do, I prefer to go alone. I like watching football. I like beer. I prefer jeans and a t-shirt over a skirt or dress any day. I don't watch Project Runway or The Bachelor. I don't know how to use a curling iron. It doesn't take me an hour to get ready in the morning. I would rather spend the night hanging out with my friends than out dancing at "da club." I think guys that look like Abercrombie & Fitch models are overrated. I read books, not magazines. I'm not a big fan of the color pink. I don't wear lip gloss..

I could go on and on but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not your average girl. And I don't say that to brag or sound conceited, it's just that I'm not like a lot of the girls here. And the problem with that is that I don't necessarily know how to act around these girls. I'm trying to make friends and I think I'm doing an okay job except that when there's a Friends marathon going on in Meredith's room, I don't know about it. Tonight, I am watching the Superbowl (Go Colts!) alone in my room with a bottle of water and a bag of Doritos and instead of getting excited that the Colts are winning, I can't help but wonder if the other girls went out somewhere and didn't tell me or are watching in somebody's room and still not telling me. I don't do this usually, worry about what people think about me. But I can't make it out here if I don't have friends. So I will go shoe shopping and I will go to Sephora and I will drink lattes if it means the girls will give themselves a chance to get to know me. And I know it's only been a week and things will start to take shape if I just give it time, but right now, tonight, I'm afraid that I won't make friends. At least not real ones.

But right now, I'm going to go back to the football game, root for the Colts, and be happy when they win. And I will start my internship tomorrow happy and confident. Wish me luck guys! I miss you.

Long Week

Okay, so it's been like a week and it's been a very long, very exhausting week so try to stay with me. Saturday was another day of orientation stuff. Brunch, conduct guide stuff, pizza for lunch, then we went over course syllabi and then we went to the MOMA (Museum of Modern Art). It was a really boring day, but the MOMA does have Starry Night by Van Gogh and Les Demoiselles d'Avignon by Picasso. They have several Picasso's actually. And a reconstruction of dinosaur bones. I also got to hear Rachael chew out the Wedding Shoppe because they screwed up her dress. Oh, and I met Daniel on Sunday. He's super cool. He actually used the phrase, "What's up mother fuckers" when describing Gary Schmidt, so he'll be fun.

Sunday we went to All Angels Church after stopping for bagels and then we went to the Museum of Art and Design and they had 2 floors devoted entirely to paper art. In the entryway, the whole ceiling was covered with paper waves and a sinking paper ship and it was really cool. You wouldn't believe the stuff people can do with paper.

On Monday we had our first Writer's Workshop course and I found heaven in a four story Barnes and Noble. Lunch from Chipotle, then me and my writing girls walked back to Union Square and walked around. We found this amazing tea place and I can't wait to go back. I don't usually like tea but we got to try a sample because they weren't open yet, and it was amazing. But then we had to go back to the studio to watch Donnie Darko which wasn't that much fun and kind of put everybody to sleep.

I snagged an internship at the Jill Grinberg Literary Agency on Monday and she e-mailed me a manuscript to read so that's mostly all I did on Tuesday. On Wednesday we went to the Met with our art history class and got to see Jackson Pollack's Autumn Rhythm and Damien Hurst's Possibility of Dying in the Eyes of the Living, which is basically just a dead shark that was embalmed and floating in a tank of formaldehyde, but still very cool.

Thursday I finished up the manuscript, wrote some stuff for my workshop course, dinner with the girls, class was canceled so I came home, watched TV and wrote the write-up for Cheryl at my internship. I was nervous that it wasn't good enough but she e-mailed me back and told me it was exactly what she was looking for so that was encouraging. She said they were also impressed with my credentials. I didn't know I actually HAD credentials but I guess a few former jobs count for something.

2 hrs of art history on Friday followed by a visit from some people from a local church and then the designated therapist for the program stopped by to let us know how to get in touch with her and what she's around for. Our program offers three free sessions with a therapist; for some reason I find that hilarious. Then some of us girls went out to dinner at a place called Josie Woods pub. Their water tasted funny; I didn't try the food.

I slept till noon today, had lunch with Sarah, Beka, and Miriam, and then came back to my room where I am about to find out what happens in New York when it storms. It's thundering outside my window...I think. Might be the subway.

We got a slight dusting of snow last night which in NY is considered inclement weath so now all the express subways are running on their local schedules which means that between Chambers and 14th street there are 5 extra stops so it takes twice as long to get where you're going.

On Wednesday, I got lost coming back to the dorm. Brooklyn is downtown from Chelsea, not up. I got all the way to 72nd street before I turned around to come home and in the act of walking up the steps to turn around, I tripped up the stairs and skinned my knee. Then I rode the 80 or some odd blocks back to the dorm. I'd rather not get lost by myself ever again.

Did an ab class at the gym the other day which means that moving makes my torso hurt. I'm so out of shape.

I think that's all the exciting stuff. Sorry this entry isn't much fun but it's been orientation week and orientation isn't fun. I'm fairly certain it was the longest week of my life and I went to bed last night physically and emotionally exhausted. And I didn't go to bed till 4 so I was extra exhuasted.

Um...other stuff. I'm on Skype so if you want to video chat you can find me there: littlefeet.bigsteps

And if you want to mail me something, you can send it to:

Gracie Bau
100 Henry St. SG259
Brooklyn, NY 11201

Check back later. I promise I'll be better at updating.

I miss you guys!

First Days

First day in New York: Times Square. Ate at Virgil's, a barbecue place. Our waiter was from North Carolina so he fit right in. He was also a chatterbox and we had very nice conversation about the Vikings and the Panthers. We went to Toys R Us; they have a ferris wheel indoors and are connected to the Babies R Us. We went to a Walgreens that had three stories and overcharged for everything, just like a Minnesota Walgreens. And we passed about a bazillion Starbucks before Eric led us home. Actually, he led us in the wrong direction so about the time we were headed in the right direction, we had to walk 4 extra blocks. It was dark and cold and I was exhausted. We had dinner at the ESPN Zone place, which might've been more fun on a Sunday with a football game, but it would also have been impossible to get into. Then we came back to the hotel where I fell asleep again, and awoke an hour later to my mom trying to steal my pillow. She was still asleep.

Day Two: Move in. Slept until noon, then packed up the car and went to the Hotel St. George. I was assigned to room 259 and ran into my roommate on the way to the elevator. She was going to buy groceries. When we got up to the room, it was empty. None of Kelsey's things were there. I put all the things on my bed, then went to Target to get some things. When we got back, the room was still empty. When I went down to the lobby for orientation, Kelsey told me that she was in room 300 something. My supposed roommate and I were assigned to different rooms. Hopefully, we'll find out tomorrow whether or not that's going to change. My room is really nice though, and not at all gross like someone told me they would be. However, one swift kick would most likely break the flimsy door. We took the Subway to the studio and ate with our professors. My publishing professor wears pink converse sneakers, which is pretty awesome. Brent's hilarious and Annie is four months pregnant. We're an eclectic group of students, but everybody seems nice and a lot of the girls seem like a lot of fun. I'm excited to see how things turn out.

Night night for now!

First Things First

So, one of my professors recommended that I start a blog while I'm gone so that my friends will know what's going on with me in NYC. That's what this is.

It's 12:20 am on January 28th. I leave today. In 6 hours and 40 mins I will be on my way to New York. My mom's fiance, Eric, will meet us at LaGuardia around 10am and I will take my first steps into the big city.

I'm a lot of things right now. I'm nervous. Living in New York City, for 3 months, without my husband. Without any familiar faces. It's scary.
I'm sad. I don't want to leave all my family and friends behind. I wish I could take you all with me and we could do this together.
I'm excited. I can't wait to find out what happens next.

You guys keep telling me that I'm going to do great. So I promise to be the best Gracie I know how to be.

I will try to write in this every day but I have no idea what my schedule will be like. Check back often.

I love e-mails and phone calls and Skype dates so stay in touch and wish me luck!